What to do with toxic friends?

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dariel2323

Well-Known Member
I have this friend who is very moody. I know that people have problems and that sometimes, everyone feels bad. Sadly, I do not like the way my friend makes me feel down whenever he is feeling the same. He would tell me that he doesn't want to talk, but I would find him talking with others. When I ask about it, he would just shrug. It's just sad.


How do you deal with toxic friends?
 
dariel2323 said:
How do you deal with toxic friends?
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Unfriend them. Haha! Joke. I feel you. My "toxic" friends are on Facebook and whenever I post something good that happens in my life they never comment, never 'like' anything. As soon as complain about something, however, they message me instantly. It's like they're basking in my misery. Screw them!
 
Well, if they're having a bad day, just ignore them and leave them be. Don't let them bring you down.
 
If they have become "toxic" recently, try helping them and asking what's wrong. If that's their way of being, try to accept their bad side, but call them out on their shit once they do something unacceptable.
 
Gin0710 said:
Unfriend them. Haha! Joke.
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You took the words right out of my mouth! I had a couple friends from childhood who I really cared about. But as we got older, I saw them for who they were, and I no longer liked them. Having them in my life did nothing except create drama. You can only hear so often how horrible one person's life is.

My best friend from the time I was 16 was a guy who went into the Navy. He got married, had two kids and divorced. We had not seen each other in 15 years or so, but we talked on the phone constantly and emailed all the time. Finally, there was a point when we were both single that he became ill and I started driving the five hours to visit him. We began a relationship, and it was then that I realized all he did was complain. for years, I listened to him complain about his ex-wife and the divorce. I really thought I was being a friend and sharing with him. But that was not so. Then I realized, that if he was complaining this much, the woman might not be that bad. At one point he asked me, "I'm such a nice guy. I care about everyone, so why am I always the one who ends up looking like a @#$#$#@". When we finally broke up, I told him the answer was because he was. That was it. Never saw him again.

Eliminate toxic waste from your life and you will feel better.
 
It is a bad feeling when you are being treated badly by a friend.I had a few toxic friends in my life.In relationships communication is important.When the communications breaks down it is hard to understand what the problem with the friendship is.When someone doesn't want to talk to me I feel there is a problem with our relationship and the only way the issue can be resolved is by talking about it if the other person is willing to communicate.
 
dariel2323 said:
I have this friend who is very moody. I know that people have problems and that sometimes, everyone feels bad. Sadly, I do not like the way my friend makes me feel down whenever he is feeling the same. He would tell me that he doesn't want to talk, but I would find him talking with others. When I ask about it, he would just shrug. It's just sad.

How do you deal with toxic friends?
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Well if you are a good friend you'll try to be there for them and help them get through whatever it is they're going through and try to do whatever you can to get them out of their funk. Although, if your friend is beyond help, and I do mean BEYOND help, then sometimes you have to cut them loose. Just don't do it in an underhanded way because that is a crappy thing to do. You need to let them know why it is that you can't be in that 'friendship' anymore and make it perfectly clear to them. It's like giving them that last chance to realize what they are doing and change or work with you to salvage the friendship.
 
Sometimes it's hard to be a good friend to someone if they haven't really been a good friend to you. If all they do is come to you to complain about their lives without ever giving support to you themselves, than it's just a toxic, me-me-me relationship. Sadly, friendships die, but you can make new friends with more meaningful relationships.
 
100% find friends that empower you, lift you up, make you smile, make you want to grow and so on. They say you are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with. If someone like that is dragging you down, move on from them.
 
I would try to help them if I could. If they don't want my help, then so be it. I don't want to be surrounded by negative-minded people. I have a few friends who always seem to see the bad side of things, and I hate that. Sometimes, I would just try to change the topic to make them stop talking. It's hard and takes a great deal of patience, because they're friends after all.
 
I move on. The happiness of my family and myself comes before all else. So anything that threatens that in any way, will be dug up at the roots. It's sad when a friendship becomes a burden more than something positive and uplifting, but you can't hold onto something that steals any amount of happiness from you when you only have a certain amount of days on this planet. Spend them very wisely. Bad friendships aren't wise.
 
Walk away, and light the bridge behind you! This guy sounds like he's manipulating you. I hate it when people walk around all emo, and then refuse to tell you what's wrong with them! If the guy is an OLD friend, I would be willing to put more effort into it, but if not, it's not worth being dragged down emotionally.
 
Your friend should not expect you to reciprocate the emotions that s/he is feeling. Do your best to reach out to them and let them know you will be there if they need to talk. At the end of the day though, you have to look out for yourself. If your friend is unwilling to change their behavior, and it is upsetting you, then you either need to have a discussion about this, or unfortunately you have to end the friendship.
 
I had a friend in high school who didn't do anything but to complain and rant about these things. Didn't she think I also have problems of my own? I mean, we could have had helped each other, but she was the only one doing all the talk, she never asked me how I feel about this or that. Everything just centered around her. She didn't even want me talking to my other friends who were the ones that really understood me much better; she was a jealous freak. Good thing, we have already parted ways. I think the best thing to do was to get rid of them.
 
I've learned that toxic friends only bring you down in the end. They tend to keep you stressed out over they're none sense most of the time. Always criticizing you for your success as well. I say cut off communication at times to give yourself time to breathe and relax. If it gets too common, think about getting rid of them for sure.
 
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