Where's the line from child discipline to child abuse?

[js85]

With all this talk in the NFL, it's hard to draw a distinct line between what counts as discipline and abuse? I think we can all agree that what Adrian Peterson did was abuse, but there's no firm definition as far as I know? Is it leaving a lasting mark? Is it an age thing? Where's the line? Where would you personally draw the line, and is there one in the law?

 

[milyjohnson]

This is a great question. It is hard to know what is considered abuse vs. discipline. What could be discipline for one person may be abuse to someone else. There's no need to attack a child just to discipline them. A few hits should be enough. You shouldn't beat up the child, but a slap on the hand or butt should be enough.

 

[DancingLady]

I think the intent has a lot to do with it. If a parent is angry and intends to hurt the child to punish them for whatever they have done that angers the parent, they will do something abusive. I know people who have used the wooden spoon for discipline and it is definitely NOT abuse. In my opinion, a proper way to use something like a spoon on the rear or a spanking is that the parent clearly lays out what the rules of the house are the behavior expectations along with the consequences for disobeying them. That way a child knows if they do something they are not supposed to do, they have received the consequences for that act. Simple cause and effect.

When a parent just gets angry and starts hitting a child because they don't like what they are doing, that is abuse. The child will live in fear of making the parent angry, rather than learning to respect the parent's authority and see the need to obey to avoid punishment.

Obviously, if a parent is doing something to a child that is or could cause injury, that is not OK. Getting a good swat just stings, it doesn't injure, so I think that is acceptable.

 

[js85]

Looking into the intent is a very good way to look at it. There's a difference between being punishing out of anger and punishing out of teaching. I think it's really subjective to culture and even individuals, I was just wondering what the official law was, if there is one.

 

[Profit5500]

Looking into the intent is a very good way to look at it. There's a difference between being punishing out of anger and punishing out of teaching. I think it's really subjective to culture and even individuals, I was just wondering what the official law was, if there is one.

Laws would vary from state to state about disciplining your children. I would assume that if you are beating up the child then that is abuse.

 

[DancingLady]

I am not sure if there is a really specific law. As far as I understand from hearing about cases on TV, it seems to be somewhat subjective and dependent on evidence from the victim and other witnesses either to the abuse or the evidence (bruises, injury ect.) that abuse has occurred.

 

[Teens In Crisis]

If anyone wants my opinion I think it boils down to consequences VS punishment. Punishment is meant to hurt, humiliate, injure, or frighten. A consequences is about cause and effect. If you consequence the action, in a natural and fair way, it's going to be easy to stay away from that "line" when it comes to abuse.

 

[Patrick]

As the saying goes, "spare the rod, spoil the child." If a child is acting spoiled and does not better himself despite repeating scolding, dishing out a small amount of corporal punishment may be the best option.

It is important that the parent tells the child the reason why he/she is caning them, so that they know that what they are doing is socially unacceptable. The punishment meted out must also not be overdone, I feel that no more than 5 strokes should be administered. The result of the punishment should merely be pain, and not injury or bruising.

 

[askanison]

I don't know either, but there is a difference in spanking and beating a child. I spanked my boys when they were small and just the threat seemed to work when they got older. The best advice I ever got was from my Grandad. He told me never spank your child when you are angry. Always send them to their room when they have done something which greatly angers you and wait awhile until you calm down. When calm then go and discipline them. Use the time waiting to decide the punishment. That is what I have always done and it seems to have worked for me.

 

[Profit5500]

This is a great question. It is hard to know what is considered abuse vs. discipline. What could be discipline for one person may be abuse to someone else. There's no need to attack a child just to discipline them. A few hits should be enough. You shouldn't beat up the child, but a slap on the hand or butt should be enough.

The only thing about slapping the child is that they would become seasoned for beaten. I would think that just hitting a child is not enough to discipline them so you would need to resort to something else.