He was drunk and High when he came to pick up my son


New Member
I was recently divorced and came to an agreement with my ex about visitation. I allowed him more time with our son than what was in the court order because I wanted him to be more involved than just on the weekends. For a while it worked out fine, but one time when he came to pick up my son he was to me obviously high on something and I could smell alcohol on him. I refused to let him take my son so he called the police. When they showed up he told them I was refusing him his visitation rights, I explained that the particular day was not in the court order and I offered him the extra time to be nice but wasn't going to put my son in harms way because his father wasn't sober. the officer told me that I offered the time so it was not right for me to take it back and didn't even give my ex a breath test to see if he really was drunk. I was so upset at the officer I didn't know what to do and my ex seemed to have the officer on his side. Thankfully my son seen what was going on and told his father that he wanted to go for a bike ride on the trail by our house and kept my ex from leaving under those conditions. I am very proud of my son for his quick thinking but he should not have had to do something like that. This was one incident that the officer was of no help and in my opinion flat out wrong. I called his supervisor and informed them of his comments and lack of action, Do you think I over reacted?


Well-Known Member
No, I do not think you over-reacted. I wonder how it would have played out had you been the party to phone the police. Clearly it was not a safe situation, and to send a child to drive with person who is under the influence would have been negilgent on your end.


Well-Known Member
Absolutely not. You have an instinct as a parent to protect your child from any uncomfortable situation, not to mention safe situation. You have every right to protect your child and it isn't overreacting at all.


Well-Known Member
You really should be proud of your son for his quick wit in that situation,and damn NO,you didn't over react.You have every right as a parent to protect your child for uneasy situations and you just enacted your right.
Honestly,the child deserves a big kudo,he really is a genius to think that way in a situation that was tough for him to handle.


Well-Known Member
You were not wrong at all to do what you did. Not all Police Officers have common sense, some of them are what we call "By the book" And they will literally ignore all other rulings and just stick to what they know. It is very common if they are brand new. I am sure his Captain chewed him out about it. He was probably just a rookie, it happens.


Well-Known Member
You definitely did the right thing. The safety of a child always comes first in that kind of situation. I don't know why the cop didn't do a breath test just to make sure all the facts were straight, that seems pretty irresponsible on his part. It sure would have cleared thing up.


Well-Known Member
Calling his supervisor was the only thing to do... so you did the right thing. You can feel good about being a parent who cares about the child's welfare. So many don't. :(

Sending a child off with someone smelling of alcohol... *never* a good decision. And the officer... are you serious? "You offered the extra day, so you can't take it back" ??? Even if it had been a court-ordered day, you still don't send a child off in a car with a drunk driver!

So glad to hear you called the supervisor. Let's hope something was learned that day after the chief had his say. :D


Well-Known Member
You was completely right, and even if the officer said it was not nice to take it back, you still could take it back as it's something -YOU- chose to do. You should have called his supervisor on the place and said no, my son won't go with his father because he isn't sober and in the divorce, this isn't his day to take his son.


Well-Known Member
No I don't think you over-reacted. You did everything any loving and concerned parent would do. You would think that the safety of the child would be paramount over everything else. For you to give him extra time with his child is commendable and its sad that he would come over high on something and ruin that arrangement. Clearly its too dangerous for him to leave with the child in that condition.


Well-Known Member
Yea bad call by the officer here. At least should have run a test for BAC. And there is no better read than a former spouse. How could he say you were wrong in taking away the extra time you gave your spouse. It was yours to give and take away since it wasn't ordered by the court.


Well-Known Member
You did the right thing by calling the supervisor and informing him of the situation. I too would have done the same thing that ex of yours should not be allowed to be with any child. That cop deserved to be reported he did not arrest the drunk that was right there in front of him.


Well-Known Member
You did not over-react at all, so please don't waste your time worrying that you did. There is no way that this man should have been in this state when he was anywhere near your son, and there isn't a chance that I would have let any child of mine be treated in such a way. Your son is the most important thing, and you have to do anything that you can in order to keep him safe, no matter what that might mean.


Well-Known Member
I don't think you overreacted either. I can see why you wouldn't want your son to go with your ex if he wasn't sober. What would have happened if your ex got in a car accident because he wasn't sober? There's no amount of apologizing in the world that would make up for it if something happened to your son. I'm glad that your son thought twice about not going out with him.


Active Member
I would like to know what the cop's supervisor said in response. I don't think you went too far when you went ahead and called the supervisor, and I personally wouldn't put a minor or any child into the hand of someone who is drunk (whether they are family or not). So, you handled the situation well, and your son was also very smart in his reaction.